I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
