and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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