I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
