who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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