It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
