Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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