i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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