just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize