Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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