Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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