People with herpes should wear stickers.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
