Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
