I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
