The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
