Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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