I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
