i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
