there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
