he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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