So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
