He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
