I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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