never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
