i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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