I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize