Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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