so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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