We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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