his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
