How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
