if you like me you must not know who I am
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
