her facebook's as public as her vagina
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
