My sheets look like a crime scene.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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