I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im holly from the hills drunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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