There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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