Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't think brook has ever known best
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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