did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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