so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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