I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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