yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
