I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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