i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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