And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize