I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
