You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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