What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
