Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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