so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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