i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
