So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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