I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize