why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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