I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
