Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
