Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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