Got a toothbrush?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
