he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
birth control should be required to get into college
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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