We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
