the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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