I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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