God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
