is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This is my gift to your gina
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
