I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
