nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it glows. i had to have it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize