Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
