So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No stitches, just platelets and will power
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
